Loving My FAILED Birth Plan.

I was about 27 weeks pregnant when my midwife asked me if I had thought about writing a birth plan. “Umm the plan is to have the baby naturally”, I thought. Haha ohhh me. I never put into consideration all the other things that go with birth; settings of the room, delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin, nursing etc.. When I started writing out my birth plan I researched EVERYTHING I could think of so that I could put together the perfect one for my delivery day. I printed up templates and read a few posts from blog websites to kind of give me an idea of how it should look like and sound like. This link right HERE helped me out a lot! These templates were equally helpful and awesome! This one, this one, and this one.

Two weeks before my due date I had my final copy and yes, I felt very accomplished!

The day I went into labor I put my GOLDEN birth plan copy inside my hospital bag. I called it “golden” because there was actually two more final copies.. I know, I totally over did it! There was a silver copy that was for my midwife and a bronze copy for my husband to keep in his hospital back pack in case anything should happen to the gold and silver copy 😉 yes I was ready! or so i thought….

This is the story of my FAILED birth plan and why I loved it.

NATURAL OR EPIDURAL

Natural. I wanted NO MEDS. I wanted to feel myself birthing my son. A pregnant woman’s body is capable of amazing things, especially during labor. I wanted to birth the way millions of women had done it in the past. Through out my whole pregnancy I never took any medicine, if I had massive heart burn, too bad girl! If I had pains or aches.. nope, no Tylenol. I took, maybe, three Tums and my prenatal vitamins, but that was it. In my birth plan I wrote, PLEASE DO NOT MENTION THE EPIDURAL, I WILL LET YOU KNOW IF AND WHEN I NEED IT.

So… yeah. 26 hours of painful contractions later and I just couldn’t take it any longer. As a first time mother I thought I was doing what was best for my baby. I was worried about my baby coming out drugged up, I kept thinking, “what if I can’t feel myself pushing and the baby gets stuck!!” I was being very stubborn about taking any medicine in the beginning, but the current situation outweighed my paranoid thoughts; for example, my husband mentioned that at one point  I turned pale white and my eyes rolled back because of how severe the pain was, my pain was completely intolerable, I hadn’t slept for over 24 hours, and later I found out my son was slightly breech. So, 
I said yes to the meds and holy cow it was the best decision I’ve ever made! Shortly after I got the shot my nurse asked, “You are having an off the charts contraction, can you feel it?” And with a huge smile I said, “What contraction?” haha yesss! No pain!! I ate some food and slept for five wonderful hours.

WHOSE GOING TO BE THERE?

In my opinion, the less people the better! I wanted my midwife, my husband and my mom there. That’s it. This portion of my birth plan worked out so well and thankfully everyone was present before the birth. At one point I wanted my best friend and my sister there, but let’s be real, all modesty goes out the door once you’re in the labor / birth stage, I didn’t want them to see me like that! I’m glad I had my mom and husband there. Seriously you guys, this is my dream team right here!

LABOR ROOM SETTINGS

Ha! I laugh every time I think about this one. I didn’t want anything too crazy.. 
I wanted the lights dim, meditation music or birth affirmations playing in the background, and my Young Living essential oils diffusing calming scents. I envisioned a peaceful and quiet place to birth my baby. Instead, I was awakened from my sleep and was told it was time to start pushing in the most un-enthusiastic manner. Meanwhile, my eyes are still trying to adjust to the 10 am morning sunshine bursting in through the window. What a ruckus! I wanted to create a calming and peaceful environment for the baby to be born in. So why didn’t i get my calming and peaceful environment? Well for starters, any sounds that wasn’t the doctor, my husband or me was simply so irritating, I couldn’t picture myself listening to music, and I was in so much pain that I probably wouldn’t have even noticed the scents of the diffuser either.

Room setting were by far the last things on my mind. Maybe next time.

DELIVERY OF THE BABY

32 HOURS LATER… I was ready to have this baby! Our plan was that my husband was going to be the one to catch the baby and after 3 minutes he would cut the cord. 1 out of 2 isn’t so bad, right? Unfortunately, he was not able to catch the baby.  During the baby’s delivery there was a scary moment where his heart rate started declining and 5 extra pair of hands rushed in to help figure out what was going on. With all the commotion going on there was no room for my husband down there. I wasnt too upset because my husband was a really big help up by my side. He stood right by me as I was pushing and held my hand while telling me I was doing great, I really needed him with me instead of down there with the doctors. I also wanted 3 minutes of delayed cord clamping, but with the excitement of our son being born, my husband was instructed to cut the cord it right away. It was all good though, everything turned out just fine! Baby boy came out healthy at 8 pounds and 2 ounces, 21 1/4 inches long. We Named Him River Alexander. 🙂

Side Note: I also had it in my birth plan that I wanted to see my placenta (WEIRD I KNOW! I felt a strange, natural urge to want to see it) and I was sad that I didn’t get to. I wonder where they took it… hmmm.

LOVING MY FAILED BIRTH PLAN

So many things just didn’t happen the way I had imagined, and for a few weeks I was little disappointed because of how hard I worked to write this birth plan.
One month after my delivery I kept replaying the whole day over and over again just to realize how beautiful it actually was, I had a healthy, uncomplicated birth (except for the small breech), my midwife was amazing, I had my family there, I was in good health after the delivery, and our son was perfect and whole. . It truly was a great experience! It took a while to realize how lucky I was that everything went so well. All those tiny mishaps didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that we were there bringing life into the world! I remember how my husband was the first one to hold him, and I remember his tears of joy as he held him. I remember my mothers face, it was priceless, she had just witnessed her daughter give life to a baby of her own. And I will always remember how they plopped him on me after he was born! So pink and slimy!! I yelled, “AH! WHAT IS THIS?? OHHHHHH ITS MY BABY!” and then kissed his forehead. Haha yeah, that was a funny moment. 🙂 These are the things that matter. Figuring out if you want a birthing stool or music in the background are the least of your worries. Trust me.
Even though a birth plan is not set in stone I would highly recommend still writing one. It’s so comforting knowing you’re going in with a game plan and it can help you de-stress and take away added worry. When writing your birth plan remember to keep it flexible and keep your options open. 🙂

Thanks for reading!

-Alexandra Hallsey

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