From the day I found out I was pregnant, I unconsciously made a choice that I was going to be breastfeeding. I never gave it much thought. I never discussed it with anyone, I never thought of any other way I would feed my baby. It was not talked about for a while until mom friends started telling me that they didn’t have enough milk for their babies, or that they just couldn’t keep on breastfeeding because it was disrupting everyday activities, or simply because it demanded too much dedication and attention. That’s when I started doing some research and reading articles about breastfeeding to kind of get an idea of how it was going to be. Not having enough milk became my worst fear. Luckily, when the time came to birth River I found out during his first feeding that not having enough milk would be the less of my worry. I had plenty of liquid gold for my little man.
I wasn’t able to give birth the way I had originally planned, but I am very thankful that I was able to breastfeed my son like I had hoped. Within seconds of being born, instinct kicked in and he found his way to the milk, and it was so beautiful! “No problem,” I thought, “I’ve got this”, and for the first three days I felt like a pro, and then things went sort of haywire, I kept at it though, I was determined to feed my baby the way women of the past have done it, it only took dedication, strong will power and many tears.
I don’t, and won’t, ever post pictures of me breastfeeding. Yes, I want to normalize it, which is why I don’t hesitate to breastfeed in public. I just choose not share breastfeeding photos of my son to social media. It’s not about modesty or because of the weirdo perverts out there on the web (well.. a part of it is lol) It’s because it’s a very deep and personal experience that only me and my son will share.
Breastfeeding is beautiful. I feel as though breastfeeding helps develop a first sense of love in a baby, when the baby lays pillowed on their mothers chest and feels the warm milk fill their tummies, it gives them a sense of security and closeness. He feels love. I love it when we lock eyes and he’s got this look of love and trust, that absolutely melts my heart! My favorite part is when he’s wants to nurse himself to sleep, and his eyes start fluttering because he’s about to be MILK drunk and pass out. Breastfeeding is beautiful because for thousands of years this is how women nourished their babies. If you think about it, that’s how humanity ended up this far advanced, there was no formula in the past. We are all here on our phones, at our concerts, at the mall, at the park, because our ancestor mothers breastfed us to this era. BEAUTIFUL! Did you know that before bottles were invented there were no signs of tooth decay in children, mothers nursed their sons and daughters until they were at least 5! That’s so rad. How hippie is that? Haha super organic “Eat Local” type of diesel. It’s also beautiful because not only is it nourishing their little bodies, but a connection is also being formed, a strong bond between baby and mother is unraveling.
But sometimes its messy and sometimes it gets weird haha. Like now, River tries to stand up and eat, he even tries to crawl away while eating like I’m a “To-Go” menu item. Some times he let’s go mid nursing session to look up and smile at me, which leads to a let down resembling a broken fire hydrant! Breastfeeding was by far the best choice I feel like I’ve made for my son and I’m very proud of myself for going strong for almost 12 months, because as beautiful as it is, sometimes it can be so difficult and stressful.
Sometimes breastfeeding is painful.. there was a time in the beginning where showering felt like glass cutting my chest.. I’d cry in the shower and wish I could just stop nursing him. For many days I had to have my back against the stream because the pain was too unpleasant to feel on my chest. It was the worst pain I had ever felt, and then the teething stage came along and I found a new meaning of pain. He would use me as a teether sometimes, other times he would bite me to get more milk out or just try out his new teeth on me. The best advice I have read for this was on Kelly’s Mom website. I did all my research on breastfeeding right here, they have just about all the information you may possibly need.
Sometimes breastfeeding is frustrating and stressful.. He eats all night, and then wants to eat all day. I am basically being feasted on by a baby zombie 24 hours a day. When morning comes I have to religiously eat and drink a carefully curated assortment of foods for nursing mamas so that I have enough for milk for him during the day and enough milk for him during the night again. And don’t even get me started about the decrease of milk supply when the monthly visitor comes around.. Straight up desert. Dry dairy. Empty well. Im trying to have a healthy chunky baby here! So my new daily ritual for an increase milk supply includes: Hydration, eating salmon, drinking Herbal Blend Tea, snacking on chocolate fenugreek bars, hydrate once more and repeat! Check out my go-to, Mrs Patels, for a milk boost! Mrs Patels saved my milk supply!! Haha Thanks to them + hydration I can pump double.
Mrs Patels teas are SO GOOD!! I also highly recommend their Munch Crunch, it goes great with salads of any type.
Sometimes breastfeeding is exhausting.. I remember crying (many times throughout the first 5 months) in the middle of the night while feeding him because I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP. I just wanted to sleep through out the whole night.. to this day I don’t think I’ve slept through out the whole night. River never took to the bottle very well, so I couldn’t pump and have my husband feed him, so I had to adjust, and I did, and I’m so glad I did, otherwise, I’d be one grumpy human. I hope you mamas have some better luck with this!
There were so many times where I wanted to quit breastfeeding and start him on formula, just so that I could give my body a rest, but that would have been very selfish of me. I’m so glad I kept on going. I encourage new moms to keep going as well, stay strong! The worst will pass and you’ll be glad and proud that you stuck to it like a BO$$, yeah.. I went a little west side for a bit haha, on a real note though, those little leg rolls will serve as a big reward for your accomplishment. 🙂
This is motherhood.
This is extended breastfeeding.
This is my life.
Totally worth it. ❤️